


No one calls you honey when you're sitting on a throne

by blanchettstruck



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, I'm tipsy and sleepy and I might regret this later, Madam Spellman is canon okay, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, Sorry Not Sorry, but I do love Mambo Marie, but I needed to write after the mess that was part 3, but we shall see, idk where this is gonna go, nothing too explicit but still, zelda spellman / lilith
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-28
Updated: 2020-02-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:21:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22445524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blanchettstruck/pseuds/blanchettstruck
Summary: In order to deceive the Dark Lord and end him for once, Lilith needs Zelda's help.Set after part 3.
Relationships: Zelda Spellman / Mambo Marie, Zelda Spellman/Mary Wardwell | Madam Satan | Lilith
Comments: 32
Kudos: 162





	1. Beware the patient woman

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from the song A little wicked, by Valerie Broussard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my very first CAOS fic, so bear with me & do let me know if I should keep going!

“High Priestess.”

Lilith spoke slowly, hissing at the end. She was still angry, but she liked the sound of it: Zelda Spellman, High Priestess. 

“Satan in hell-”

“From hell, yes. Satan, no. Guess again.”

“Have you come to shoot me as well, just like that bitch you once possessed and whose appearance you seem unable to let go of?” Zelda said, dryly. 

“No, sweet Zelda. I have come to ask for help, figured you wouldn’t deny it twice. Much as you don’t pray to me anymore, I know very well you used to. And I myself have turned to Hecate here and there... Not many people to turn to when you’re Lilith, you know.” 

“And yet here you are, astral projecting in my office to beg for my help, it seems”, the other woman snapped. 

“Let’s not get sentimental, High Priestess. It’s merely a business proposition.”

“What else would it be?” But as soon as she asked, blue eyes flickered and she could feel heat emanating from Lilith’s body, even though she wasn’t physically there. Or maybe it was just normal when you were in hell, she didn’t know. 

“Isn’t the father of your child keeping tabs on you?”, she continued, not letting her mind get lost in the deep ocean that stared at her. “He surely wouldn’t like you wandering like this- not when you’re carrying such preci-

“About that, yes” Lilith cut her short. 

The Mother of Demons considered remarking that the Dark Lord was too busy teaching her sloppy timeline-freak niece some much needed management skills, but she wouldn’t bring that up just now. Not because she worried about Zelda’s family or well-being, but because she didn’t need the witch any more distracted than she already was with all things church and academy. Her plan would demand attention and careful execution, and she could hold on to that piece of information and use it in the future if need be. 

“That is precisely what I have come to discuss with you”, she purred. There was an urgency in her voice that she tried to disguise with fluttering eyelashes and a devilish smile, but the Spellman witch could almost see through it. 

“You see, I was desperate”, continued Lilith. “And a woman fearing for her life is capable of just anything, as you may know. So I made a quick decision and did one of the things I tend to excel at, most of the time: deceive men.

I put Blackwood to sleep and messed with his memories, so that when he woke up, he believed he’d given me the seed.” She let out a mocking laugh. “Giving him the mark of Cain was a waste, but it had to be done to hold my end of the bargain.”

“So you didn’t fuck him, huh?” The woman tried her best to conceal the mix of pride and relief in her voice. 

“Well… No. Let’s just say I would never stoop so low, though you can’t say the same yourself, can you? Anyways, I don’t have much time, so let me get straight to the point: I need to keep deceiving The Dark Lord for the next months to come, until I figure out how to end him for good. I will soon pay a visit to the best midwife the world has seen, and I hope you do not let me down... Again. High Priestess.” 

And so she disappeared, her warmth and strong perfume lingering where she’d just sat, the room in a completely different atmosphere than a few minutes ago.

Zelda lit a cigarette and blew out smoke slowly, thoughts racing, heartbeat almost catching up. She knew of something that could temporarily help Lilith, but she would need Hilda’s help. Staring into nothing, the witch took a while to realize where her thoughts had decided to settle: in the way Lilith sounded when she referred to her as High Priestess.


	2. In all chaos there is calculation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As promised, Lilith pays her new midwife a visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title is from Glory and Gore by Lord.

The air in Greendale was humid, the sky a dull gray contrasting with the vivid green of the countless trees that populated the city way more than its pathetic citizens. 

Lilith surely did not anticipate she would be seeing more of the dreary little town once she set off to hell with a crown placed on her head, yet there she was, back in Zelda Spellman’s porch. All roads led to the Spellman family, it seemed. 

She hoped Sabrina wasn’t home, for she did not need that extra dose of annoyance right now. She loathed, detested, couldn’t stand that little brat of a witch, but truth be told, she quite liked her fearlessness. There was something refreshing in the way she did not admit to be ordered around, and if there was one thing that never failed to lift Lilith’s spirits, it was seeing how this new generation of women conformed less and defied more. 

Of course, when it came to the young Spellman, it was her family's doing, the way her aunts had raised her, specially the matriarch whose door she stood before. 

Her thoughts were interrupted by the minion’s knocks on the door, which opened to reveal the oldest Spellman in a black, business-like outfit. “Lilith”, she nodded, making way for the guests to enter. Her voice was low and husky, velvet like her attire. 

“High Priestess.”

“This way”, Zelda waved her right hand towards the entrance to the mortuary. “My sister is in the kitchen, she’ll bring us some tea soon”. 

“Stay here, minion. I shan’t be too long” Lilith said as she made her way through the residence. 

“I spend day and night surrounded by dead people, and when I finally pay you an actual visit, you bring me to a mortuary”, she purred while making her way downstairs. “Talk about creating a safe environment - you are very considerate indeed, High Priestess”. She could feel Zelda rolling her eyes, even though she had her back to her. She turned around and waited for Zelda to descend the stairs, distance closing between them.

Zelda noticed the other woman’s bothersome disregard for personal space and spoke, making her way to the center of the room: “Well, let’s get our mendacious business meeting started, shall we?  
This is how it works: first, you drink the tea that Hilda has been brewing for 9 days. The rest of it will stay here, and you are to come back once a month do drink the exact amount” Zelda explained.

“Then, I’m going to perform a combination of a nutrire and an apokrýptein spells on you.”

“I believe I’m familiar with the second one.” The name did sound familiar, she just didn’t know exactly where from.

“Yes, I’m sure you are. Besides delivering babies, midwives are also able to perform a range of related spells”, the witch explained. 

“In the past, it was common for a non-pregnant woman to seek a trusted midwife who would help her fake a pregnancy, either for business purposes, or to keep impatient husbands from trying incessantly, when all the poor woman needed was to be left alone.”

They heard a light knock and Hilda opened the door, carrying a small tray with a teapot and a cup on her other hand. 

“Good afternoon, Lilith” she giggled a little. “I have brought your sweet tea”, she approached the two women with a genuine smile on her face.

“Hello miss Spellman”, she paused. “I just have one more question before I drink it. What exactly will be growing - brewing - inside me?”

“Well, for someone who did not hesitate to make a monster from your own rib and order it to kill my niece, you do sound uncharacteristically dubious now.”

“Shhh, Zelds, let the woman ask her questions! It’s important to clear any doubts first”, said Hilda. 

“Worry not, Lilith. You see, you will have all the characteristics of a pregnant woman: your belly will grow at a normal rate, you will experience hormonal and physical changes, all of it, except it won’t be a baby, it will be… A different type of living creature: a plant.” Hilda was truly excited to make this work, and everyone in the room was well aware that there was no better suited witch to handle that task. 

“Well, cheers, witches.” Lilith held her teacup high before drinking it up. 

“I’ll leave you two to the rest of it, then” Hilda said, collecting the cup and heading out of the mortuary.

“Shall I take this off before lying down?” the demoness asked, tugging at her own blouse and giving Zelda the most intense and suggestive look, followed by a ravenous smile. 

The witch rolled her eyes, choosing to ignore the sudden blush on her cheeks. “No need, I’m powerful enough to do this without even touching you. Just lay down and we’ll be done in a minute.”

“All business and no fun, is this what the life of a High Priestess and Directrix consists of?” She said as she laid down and closed her eyes, and Zelda noticed the ever-present warmth in the room, a thousand times stronger than when the woman astral projected into her office the other day. She made an effort to clear her mind, for it wasn’t easy to concentrate with Lilith just lying there, serenely, before her eyes; and her strong perfume made it all the more difficult. But it had to be- it suddenly occurred to Zelda that they hadn’t discussed the details of the deal. She needed some reassurances, and she wanted to know how exactly Lilith intended to defeat the Dark Lord. 

“Lilith, I need to secure some details of this deal before there’s no turning back”, she uttered in a serious tone.

The woman opened her eyes and blue met green, truly seeing each other for the first time in a long time. She sat up and crossed her legs.

Must she always wear such tight clothing? It’s distracting, Zelda thought, before formulating a question: “what do I get from this?”

“Oh, you mean besides helping rid the universe of such trash as the Dark Lord?”, Lilith scoffed. 

“Yes. I want extra protection for my coven and my family, and I want you to promise me that no harm shall come to us while we’re in hell. Assuming that we will need to go there in order to kill the Dark Lord that is. 

This is war, isn’t it?”

“Is Hecate not making you feel safe enough?” she laughed. “I can’t disclose any details yet, but I can assure you this is, indeed, war. And I promise your family and coven will be safe, as far as I’m concerned. Shall we, now? Don’t want my minion to worry thinking I’ve been gone too long.”

“Fine”, Zelda agreed, resuming her position and closing her eyes again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I've ever written anything this fast. Guess that's what happens when you binge part 3 and spend days tryna deal with your feels, then decide to pour it all into a fic hoping to find some peace of mind. Ha!


	3. Devils roll the dice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A certain demoness casually astral projects into the High Priestess' office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of this chapter is from Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift: devils roll the dice / angels roll their eyes / and if I bleed, you'll be the last to know.

It was rather startling at first, though Zelda always did her very best not to let it show, gingerly sticking to her classic air of annoyance and nonchalance. 

Lilith would astral project in the dead of night, when the High Priestess was at least two glasses of whiskey in, endless books and ancient scriptures scattered around her desk. (Building a church and reforming a school wasn’t for amateurs, and she knew it.)

It became sort of an unspoken deal: Lilith would talk to Zelda about how tough it can get to be a woman in charge whilst surrounded by so many sexist, incompetent men; Zelda, on the other hand, would occasionally ask questions regarding religion, Hecate, or the beginning of time- anything that might enrich her own research and point of view. 

It was the second time that week, for the third week in a row. Both women knew they would soon be seeing each other in person, for their next mother-midwife appointment approached, but that was something they hadn’t talked about at all. When it came to the Dark Lord, Lilith didn’t disclose much except for how awfully irritating it was to have him talking to her own belly day and night, even though the trick gave her lots of advantages, the main one being, at this point, an irrefutable excuse to be left alone in order to rest. Honestly, though, what was it with men and regarding pregnancy as though it were a disease? But bed rest was the perfect excuse for her to have several moments of peace, so she couldn’t really complain this time.

For Zelda, the occasional rendezvous was something she did not want to get used to, but couldn’t quite resist, either. It was obviously conflicting to become acquainted with Lilith: she was the first woman, the first witch, someone whose story Zelda used to tell little kids every year; someone Zelda used to turn to in her worst times, when she believed the Dark Lord incapable of understanding her darkest, deepest, most desperate troubles and pleas. 

What was her to do, really? 

First and foremost, she wouldn’t simply turn Lilith down; she was Lilith, after all. Second, the woman was in hell, with Satan himself, Hecate knows what she must be going through. Satan being the very man who had abused her for half an eternity… She knows very well what abuse felt like, and how tragic and lonely it can get when you have nobody to talk to. And truth be told, she didn’t completely stop praying to Lilith, nor saying her name here and there, even if just to herself, in her head, when there was no one around. She wondered if the demoness could still hear it, and even if she would hold that against her at some point. 

Last but not least, she liked the sight of Lilith in her office, sitting cross-legged in an armchair, effortlessly turning the vintage piece of furniture into a throne of her own. Of course, she knew that wasn’t her real demoness appearance, but at the same time, she’d grown used to it. Used to her ever-flirtatious tone, her unmistakable blue eyes, her long hair… As well as the endless source of knowledge she could be.

And that’s how they started to become familiar with each other, not in the entity-and-devotee way they once were, but as the two equally strong, flawed, and power-hungry women they are.

“Far too swamped at the moment, High Priestess?” the demoness asked, sitting down in front of a very focused Zelda Spellman. 

“Missed me already? Well, that didn’t take long. I’d offer madmoiselle a drink, if she weren’t pregnant and astral projecting.”

“I’m not really pregnant, you know. And I planned on coming yesterday but I figured you were doing some late night hours at the academy with a certain voodoo sorceress who wouldn’t agree to a threesome.” She laughed, and it sounded both bitter and wicked. 

Zelda merely raised her brows in make believe shock before responding: “since you insist on coming here uninvited, you might as well make yourself useful. I’ve come to realize reforming a curriculum is way more challenging than I’d initially thought, given the amount of conceited, uninformed, misogynistic parents I must deal with on a daily basis. Going around implying I can’t run a school the way a male director would, that I lack the strength for it.”

The directrix sighed in frustration. Unlike humans, witches could go days without sleeping, but Zelda was beginning to feel signs of exhaustion, which in turn were beginning to show despite her impeccable make-up. 

Well, to Lilith, at least. 

“High Priestess. Excuse me for making it about me for a brief second.” The demoness paused and took a deep breath, as though recalling something terribly uncomfortable. “When I walked away from this place as the self-crowned queen of hell, I thought the mere weight of such crown upon my head would make everyone bow. 

I take no pride in making mistakes, but I realize now that we are surrounded by ignorants who think they know better, simply because they are men. As you well know, power isn’t handed to us, it’s something we need to fight for; and when we finally get it, the climb usually leaves us exhausted, so we pause to catch some air and relieve our shoulders. 

The mistake, however, lies in thinking we can allow ourselves the luxury of a brief pause. We cannot. But luckily, we aren’t the first women to ascend to power, and we won’t be the last: that means we are not alone.”

Zelda looked up, for the lines she’d been reading suddenly got blurred by the relief of identifying herself with Lilith’s words. 

This wasn’t a conversation she could be having with Hilda, whom, despite being the most empathetic and understanding person in her life, couldn’t quite relate to her sister’s incessant quest for power. 

It wasn’t a discussion she could have with Mambo Marie, either. For a number of reasons, but mostly the fact that Zelda still wasn’t sure to which extent she could actually trust the witch. They had a business arrangement and she was doing a fine job as a guest teacher at the Academy (though the most conservative parents weren’t exactly ecstatic), and spending some nights in her bed was always cathartic (in a healthy way, praise Hecate), but that was it for the time being. 

And there was something extremely comforting about hearing that from Lilith, then seeing her get up and approach the desk, leaning in to get a closer look at the documents and offer Zelda some help.

What she thought would be a liability to her family and coven was turning into a valuable asset, and soon enough a way to dismantle the embodiment of evil and misogyny she once made the mistake of putting her faith in.


	4. Fire, help me to forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lilith reflects on the abuse she's suffered for years and years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think what bothered me the most about part 3 was the disregard for Lilith's and Zelda's ptsd. Here, I tried to tackle it from Lilith's pov a bit - there's nothing too explicit, but I do hope this does her a bit of justice. Can't get over how they got her entire character development and threw it right in the trash. 
> 
> The title of this chapter is from Which Witch, one of my fav Florence + The Machine songs.

Evenings like these, Lilith didn’t know if her so called bed rest was a blessing or a curse. She looked around the poorly decorated bedroom, nothing like she thought it would be when she arrived in hell with a scintillating golden crown on her head. It was devastating how hellfire and brimstone did absolutely nothing to comfort her if she wasn’t the one managing it all.

With far too much time in her hands, her mind often wandered back and forth between the triumphant self-coronation and the beginning of her downfall - though she couldn’t tell if that was when Lucifer broke free from Blackwood’s body, or the very moment the angel fell from heaven, flashing deep wounds and an innocent look. It was hard to put a finger on it, really.

She truly wasn’t one for self-pity, in fact she loathed it, which obviously only added to her irritation. Which was worse, taking care of the damned Morningstar and helping him conquer hell only to be tossed aside like some useless coin from an ill-fated country whose economy is broke, or the way she fled like a scared, brainless insect when he threatened her a few weeks ago? Or how Zelda Spellman had denied her asylum when she was weak and on the edge of desperation?

She took a deep breath as if to steady herself, sitting on the edge of the bed. To the common eye she looked lost, staring into nothing, face unreadable. In her mind, she was beating herself up for even trusting Lucifer in the first place. Then, for worshipping him. Then, for standing by his side when she should’ve claimed what was rightfully hers- but instead, she let him deny her that, too. Let her believe she was unworthy of power just like she was unworthy of attention, care, love. She, who had loved him unconditionally. She, who had been stupid enough to believe he would actually stay true to his word. She, who was blind to his fumbling with a mortal against said mortal’s own will, in order to have a child Lilith was incapable of generating. She, whose body he used any time he wanted, regardless of her consent. 

It was nearly impossible for her to see her own worth after having been subjected to such boundless abuse, for such a long time. 

This is why it hurt when Zelda Spellman prayed to her a few times, then retracted, refusing help without flinching; the prayers had made her feel valuable for the first time in a very, very, very long time. They had felt like a warming embrace, like a reinvigorating cup of whiskey and tea after an endless walk in the coldest of the winters. 

And then, nothing but silence. 

Sepulchral silence, except for the deafening echoes of her own despair, a scenario she had tried to forget but was much too familiar to her.

Deep down, however, that bitterness towards the witch was rather unjustified: she would’ve done exactly the same to protect her Queendom if it was the other way around. 

Lilith had lied to Zelda time and time again, threatened her family, and she would have killed Sabrina hadn’t the young witch been so clever as to escape her over and over. In a way, it was good that she survived, otherwise the matriarch would never have forgiven the demoness. 

And there was something about that woman that simply stated that getting on her bad side meant complete damnation, one way or another; it would be scary if it weren’t so. Damn. Attractive. Magnetic. Inescapable. 

Lilith sighed, for she couldn’t help but think about the woman’s green eyes, the way they ran deep like a river, a river so vast that entire civilizations could be built around it. 

The way her alabaster skin must look like when rid of the expensive velvet or silk she likes to wrap herself in, probably covered in numerous freckles shaped like stars, forming endless constellations far more exquisite than the ones up in the sky.

The way her soft auburn hair resembles autumn, the season where the rather dull green of leaves turns to magnificent hues of golden brown, orange and yellow, the scent of spices gets stronger, fireplaces burn and flicker just enough to warm someone’s cold hands and create a cozy atmosphere that feels like cashmere.

All that late night astral projecting was undoubtedly starting to make Lilith think of the High Priestess more frequently than she used to when she lived in Greendale, which on one hand was definitely a better feeling compared to the sheer anger she felt towards the Dark Lord - for it inevitably reverberated in anger towards herself - but on the other hand, could cause her to lose focus, which simply couldn’t happen. 

The Mother of Demons hadn’t been with a woman in decades, centuries perhaps, and she was dying to know if the High Priestess still had any devotion left. The Church of Lilith had had an ephemeral life in the hands of Zelda Spellman, but it’s because it wasn’t meant to be- the witch seemed to have found her faith in Hecate, and Lilith knew that sooner or later another witch would pray to her, maybe even build a Church that will last longer.

Zelda Phiona Spellman was meant to worship her in another way, of that she was sure. 

***

Zelda tossed and turned in a bed that felt warm and inviting, but wasn’t hers. 

She opened her eyes to find Marie looking at her, a pair of deep brown jewels that seemed to know it all too well, yet didn’t seem to matter. 

“Another nightmare, ma chérie? You can share your worries with me if you want, you know? I’m trustworthy, even if you keep trying to fight that belief. You needn’t keep these walls around me... They’re not much use here, or around anyone else who is truly fond of you.”

Zelda meant to roll her eyes, but instead she let out a defeated sigh while Marie raised a hand to caress her forehead softly, wiping droplets of sweat, then tucking a fallen giger curl behind her lover’s left ear. 

She continued playing with Zelda’s hair, wrapping another curl around her fingers, then another, and another, while the other witch kept her eyes closed and took deep breaths, calming herself down. 

The directrix hadn’t slept in days, and when she finally thought she would get a few hours, her brain rebelled against her, painting lifelike pictures of her worst case scenarios: her entire coven dying because of her; the Dark Lord killing Lilith and making her watch it knowing she would be next; Sabrina saying he was a father figure the way Zelda had never managed to be a mother to her, only a cold, distant relative who had never showed her any real love; and then Hildie agreeing with their niece, worshipping Lucifer and saying she could serve him the way her sister never would, for she kept putting her faith in unworthy women.

Marie leaned in and placed a light kiss on Zelda’s forehead, reassuring her it would be okay. That she need not doubt herself, for it did not suit her goddess-like figure.

The High Priestess opened her eyes and put a hand behind Marie’s back, pulling her even closer, breathing in her scent, tranquility, assurance.

She kissed her softly on the lips, trying her best to believe those words. Closing her eyes again, she thought of Lilith, and hoped her plan would come to fruition, and that trusting her wasn’t a big mistake.


	5. Let me face the sound and fury

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a Zelda-centric chapter, and it also features Marie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am absolutely terrified of posting this one and I would really appreaciate any kind of feedback! It's a little longer than usual, and I hope I've done Zelda justice... Homegirl really needs to process some stuff, she's been through way too much. 
> 
> The title of the chapter is from Hurricanes by Dido.

Lilith’s recent absence ended up providing Zelda with an occasion to reflect on what she had been trying hard to bury deep inside herself, for it appeared that she would not manage to get things done efficiently with all those thoughts running helter-skelter inside her own head, causing endless nightmares when she was supposed to sleep, and tremendous lack of focus when she ought to be working.

She felt, more than ever as of lately, like she was hanging onto everything by an impossibly thin, breakable thread; as though her feelings, numb for so long, would all surface and destroy every solid pillar that kept her together. 

And there was so much buried, an array of things and situations that started when she was a child - she remembered clearly how the household dynamics changed when her mother got pregnant for the second time, and then the third: with more offspring, came the need to prove herself. Then, the responsibility of keeping things together, accompanied by the fact that her brilliant male sibling overshadowed her; he just climbed the ladder up so high, she was left with no other option, having to tone down her own ambitions, and then pick up the pieces after his tragic death. 

She was given no choice but to conform, but Zelda Phiona Spellman was not born to conform; she was born to lead. 

But then again, the moment she could finally wrap her strong hands around the power she had been craving since she was a teenager, she didn’t know how to handle it. She kept second guessing herself, like some meek mortal woman, which begged the question… Was she ever as strong as she believed to be? Ever since Faustus killed half the coven and fled, an enormous responsibility had been placed upon her open arms and eager hands; and ever since then, she kept making mistake after mistake. It wasn’t until she started worshipping Hecate that she knew where she was going: the newfound faith gave her a sense of direction, a light guiding her forward where once there was nothing but pitch black darkness.  
She leaned back and put her feet up, resting them on the wooden table before her. She moved her right hand slowly, carefully swirling the amber liquid inside her glass. 

As she sipped the scotch, she realized she hadn’t seen things this clearly in… Ages. The only reason why she managed to resurrect Hilda was because she saw herself in the three-in-one; Hecate’s power only made sense to her because she could own it herself, becoming the very heart of the Order. 

Funny how her whole life, or ever since her siblings were born, at least, she felt held back; she convinced herself it was a survival instinct, a combination of her own sense of self, her intelligence, and her duties as the older sister. True, she did rebel a couple of times; but young and reckless did not suit her, she took things - and herself - far too seriously, way too often. And where exactly had that led her? She was alone, and exhausted. Her power felt stronger now, but still rather brittle. 

She closed her eyes, mind taking her back to a few months before, the day some very strange old lady was doing tarot readings at that shabby little store Hilda worked. The High Priestess card was, indeed, very fitting; but at the time, she could only see the the bright side of it. Not that she actually believed that, most of the time they were extremely foolish, and the old woman looked completely unreliable… But when conducted by the right person, it could provide valuable insight. 

So she thought about what the reversed card could mean: difficulty to listen to one’s intuition, ignoring strong gut feelings. And though she did not necessarily trust the accuracy of tarot cards in general, one could state that it had been quite a long time since she followed her gut. To be honest, it had been centuries since her intuition actually contemplated her own life and well-being rather than those of the Spellman family; maybe her big mistake was learning how to put their lives first, placing their needs and safety before hers. 

Everyone in her family had someone, why did she have to be the one holding it all together and sacrificing her rights in the process? It were her very duties as a matriarch who worries about her family name that led her back to Faustus, and all the awful mess that followed their union. 

She was well aware that those traumas were still buried another three layers under whatever she was processing right now, but there would be time for it; and for Lilith; and for Marie as well. 

She realized, now, that she could not lead a coven if she truly didn’t believe her own potential - that would make her feel like a fraud, and she wouldn’t be one; she refused to follow in the footsteps of Faustus Blackwood and the many men before him. She would work on her own issues and become the High Priestess her coven deserved (though she absolutely loathed the term “issue”). All in all, she knew she had far too many affairs to deal with, but she was determined to do so. But how?

Standing up from her office chair, she decided to go looking for a great Voodoo Priestess who might be able to listen to her objectively, when she heard a soft knock on the door. 

“Salut, ma chérie - I’ve brought some liquor of my own today, a bottle that came straight from my shop in New Orleans.”

“Marie. What is it?”

“It is mix of red wine, berries, and some herbs; technically it is meant to be drunk warm, mais je suis une rebelle, so I prefer to drink it cold. May I come in and sit down?”

Zelda hummed in agreement, then let out a deep sigh, for her brand new resolutions meant showing a side of herself whose existence she had trouble admitting. Her whole life, she believed vulnerability to be the the most terrible of curses and yet right now, she knew it might be the only road to fully owning her power.

“What is the matter, ma chérie? Are you not happy to see me?”

“It’s not that I’m not pleased… It’s that you seem to know when I want you around, and I find that extremely unsettling." 

She could have used the word ‘need’ instead of ‘want’, but she wasn’t about to humiliate herself to that extent just yet. 

"By all means, do pour this wine - or whatever it is called - Hecate knows how much I need it right now.” 

Marie, however, had seen Zelda at her worst - and even though the High Priestess hated it, there was nothing she could do to change that fact, so she might was well use it in her favor. Second guessing herself had led to nothing besides damnation and destruction, and her sixth (or thirteenth) instinct urged her to trust Marie. 

“When you said we were much more alike than I thought… What exactly did you mean?” - She figured that starting off with a question that had been bugging her for weeks would be a solid, safe first step. 

And she downed the first wine glass so quickly that she could barely taste the herbs and berries Marie had mentioned. It was the other witch’s ability to see right through her bullshit that forced her to drink fast - or at least that’s what she told herself, before positioning the wine glass in front of Marie’s perfect face, silently requesting her to refill it.

The differences between Marie and Lilith were something Zelda would not allow her brain to dwell on at the moment, and so she took a seat on the burgundy couch in her office and tried to choose her next words carefully. 

“I was… Thinking about the day you said that, and I’m curious to know why you think we’re so alike. Would you… Care to clarify?”

“Well, ma chérie, I’m not really keen on confiding in people I barely know, which is already something we both share. However, I came here because Prudence invited me, and I felt like I needed a change; my first impressions, they never lie - not when it comes to women, at least. 

I sense in you an extremely powerful witch who struggles to believe her own potential, and I was like that once. I let someone deceive me because I did not realize how strong I already was on my own.”

She wore a beautiful purple dress that reminded Zelda of many vast violet gardens she had visited in her youth, but what was actually mesmerizing about her wasn’t her unique sense of style, or the way her skin glowed under the sun, or how soothing her voice sounded; it was the mosaic of everything she was, and how it affected the environment around her: she could command a deathly army or calm down the roughest waters with just a look and a wave of those fine, long hands; she was wise yet challenging, open yet mysterious. 

Perhaps they were meant to be friends; perhaps they were meant to be lovers and perhaps, in an ideal world, they were meant to be both. 

Zelda’s mouth flashed a small smile, encouraging the woman next to her to proceed. 

“You are a very powerful witch, ma chérie. I felt that the moment I met you, I felt that as I stood beside you while you battled life and death, I felt it during your sister’s resurrection… 

And now I think something’s different about you; more loose, it’s been since that very day. Like a switch was flicked, oui?” 

Marie’s magic and intuition were astonishing. 

“Well… Yes. Perhaps you’re right.” (She clearly was, but Zelda didn’t want to give it to her right away.)

The Voodoo Priestess stared for a moment, then continued, her voice as solid and stable as a fortress: “Zelda, I really admire how devoted to your family you are. I am alone in the world, but if one day I build a family of my own - you will be one of my inspirations. 

You love them fearlessly, and you would go to any lengths to protect them…”

“Why do I sense a ‘but’ coming”, she asked, raising her eyebrows. 

“I have been where you are, chérie - choosing others before myself, making right choices for the wrong reasons. I did it a lot when I was younger, because I thought it would make people stay. 

It didn’t, and I lost myself in the process… It wasn’t until I noticed that and stood up for myself that things began to change for me.

Trust me, ma chérie - it is not selfish to prioritize yourself. It will make you a better mother, directrix, and High Priestess, I have no doubt. 

Whatever you had to juggle in the past to keep your family and house together… It’s all in the past, you can’t change it. Now, it is time to move forward while living in the present. You owe it to yourself.”

“It is foolish to run away from one’s responsibilities.” 

She was annoyed not because of Marie, but for finding herself in that position, for the confusion in her head, the uncertainty of her life; the way her family behaved, always putting themselves in dangerous situations she might not be able to control.

“What you must understand, Zelda Spellman, is that you can put yourself first, and that’s exactly what will allow you, and those around you, to thrive. 

We both know you saw yourself in Hecate’s three phases, and that was what made you channel your inner power. That is proof that committing to your own well-being will make you the most efficient High Priestess the world has ever seen.”

A single tear fell from Zelda’s left eye, and there was nothing she could do to stop it; she didn’t even want to move her hand to wipe it, inevitably drawing attention to it - it had already fallen, anyway.

And so Marie, as though on cue, raised a hand towards the other woman, slowly cupping her chin and drying the tear with a delicate stroke of her thumb, eyes never leaving those of the beautiful witch in front of her, mouth moving to assume the shape of the most tender smile Zelda had ever seen.


	6. It's like feeling no fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zelda and Lilith *finally* spend some quality time together (this is a Madam Spellman fic, after all). I had so much fun writing this chapter & I REALLY hope you like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title is from Cherry by Lana del Rey: I said real love / it's like feeling no fear / when you're standing in the face of danger / cause you just want it so much
> 
> Also, thank you for the heart-warming comments, it's such a nice surprise to find out that there are people who actually follow this story <3

When Lilith arrived for her second monthly appointment, she knocked just once - she even considered entering the Spellman household without further ado, but perhaps it would be best to save the surprises for later, it certainly wouldn’t be wise to press her luck so quickly. 

And as much as she liked to spy and eavesdrop, the whole point of this insane idea was to clean her slates with Zelda. 

When the witch opened the door - she must’ve been walking around the living room to reach it so fast, and after one single knock - Lilith couldn’t help but stare, mouth slightly open, big blue eyes sparkling with desire: the High Priestess was wearing a black high waisted skirt that unapologetically accentuated her features, and a dark green silk blouse. 

Lilith despised green, for it seemed to be a favorite amongst mortals, being the color of trees, life, and whatnot; but she did not hate it when worn with such class by the witch before her. The vintage blouse matched her eyes, and the way her red curls fell on the soft fabric made it all the more stylish; Zelda Spellman was a sight to behold.

She realized she’d been speechless for way too long, but it was the redhead who broke the silence:

“I see you came alone this time. Feeling bold enough to take risks, are we?”

Lilith’s cherry lips formed a devilish smile, but when she spoke, her tone was cool and controlled, as if the only thing fluttering in her entire being were her eyelashes: “it’s high time we had a moment alone for a change, High Priestess”.

No sooner did she enter the house, there was a proposition on the tip of her tongue: “I would like to take you elsewhere. Do you trust me?”.

Zelda’s first instinct was to say no, and that’s exactly what she did.  
But her raised eyebrows expressed a concern that did not quite meet her eyes, nor her lips, thus she quickly added “but let’s go. Am I dressed appropriately?”

And this time Lilith let out a carefree, wicked laugh. It had been ages since she had any kind of excitement like this. 

She moved her hands, transporting herself and Zelda to a place that wasn’t far, but was safe enough for them to… Talk. And maybe something else, too.

“Is this Baxter High?” 

“It seems like I have finally managed to surprise you, High Priestess.” 

“Indeed you have, but let me clarify that not all surprises are good. In fact, I dread surprises” notes of amusement betrayed her tone, though, so Lilith feigned profound disappointment and pouted: “but I did put an effort into making this office… Worthy of you.”

Zelda laughed, but the demoness did have a point: there was a little wooden table with two charming chairs on a corner, a bottle of red wine and two glasses placed on top, and three candles. 

Other candles decorated room, and a light scent of wood and cinnamon definitely added to the vibe. 

There was also a leather couch, that as far as Zelda remembered, was never there. Not that she had been to that room many times before, given that the affairs of Sabrina’s mortal education were usually handled by Hilda, but looking around, it didn’t feel like they were at Baxter High at all.

“You see, I wanted a place that was close enough to your house - just in case - but quiet enough so that we wouldn’t be bothered. And no one comes to school on a Sunday evening so… We’re safe. Unless we accidentally stay here until tomorrow…” the demoness smirked, mercilessly. 

Zelda would be lying if she said she had never thought of spending time with Lilith… In a quiet place, just the two of them… On a… Date? 

For Hecate’s sake, it was a damn date. 

For a split second, it dwelled on the witch that the last time she had been on a candlelit place with small tables for two was right before the Caligari spell was cast.

A shiver ran through her body, but she took a deep, reassuring breath, and decided she would play along, even if she wasn’t ready yet, for she was sure the other woman wouldn’t do anything against her will. 

If Lilith notice the shiver, she chose not to say anything. She was standing oddly distant from Zelda, who took advantage of this uncharacteristic placement to contemplate her date: close-fitting dress, red lips, eager eyes, expensive-looking stilettos, and manners so calm that made her wonder how the demoness was actually feeling in the inside. 

The air in the room was filled with tension, if that was any indication. 

With a snap of her fingers, Lilith conjured up some food, and low music started to play, suddenly transforming the place, making it look absolutely nothing like that ill-fated night that crossed Zelda’s mind just a few seconds ago, since the atmosphere couldn’t be any more different. 

A chair was pulled and Zelda sat down, not breaking eye-contact, watching the mother of demons sit across her. 

And for the first time in her life, Zelda Spellman didn’t mind being at Baxter High, nor with that woman that resembled Sabrina’s school-teacher-turned-murderer, but at the same time, was absolutely nothing like her-- even their eyes sparkled differently.

Lilith spoke first: “you must be wondering what in Hecate’s name this is.”

Zelda let out a spontaneous laugh, because it was funny to hear her say Hecate’s name so naturally, not an ounce of bitterness in her voice this time. 

“I have an idea”, she smirked. 

The demoness continued, getting a toast from the little basket on the table, and putting a perfectly thin slice of carpaccio on top of it. “It is not in my nature to apologize, of course, but I felt like I owed you an apology, High Priestess.

Plus, the food in hell is as dreadful as one can imagine.”

“And what exactly are you apologizing for, if I may ask?”

“Lying. Wanting to kill your niece. Not answering when you prayed to me.”

She bit her toast, and the loud crunch sounds somewhat broke the potential seriousness of their conversation.

Apologies didn’t come naturally to Zelda either, but she did feel sorry for not having helped a woman in need. Specially if said woman was someone she used to be devoted to. 

“I’m... Sorry I didn’t let you stay with our coven when you asked for shelter”, the witch said and picked a toast, too, because Hilda had been spending a lot of time and Dr. Cee’s lately, and she hadn’t had a decent meal in over three days. 

“To be frank, I would have done exactly the same, had I been in your shoes. It was obviously a hard time for me, but I can’t blame you for wanting to protect your coven and family. I was a liability” - it was the most sincere Lilith had ever sounded, thought Zelda.

“And you aren’t, anymore?” It wasn’t an aggressive inquiry, just a genuine question; and right after asking Zelda ate another toast-- this was actually very good carpaccio.

“Well, if you are here with me, I take it as a sign that you do trust me.”, the other woman replied, sounding rather definitive, as if there was nothing else to be discussed, as if she didn’t need to lay her entire plan on the table. 

She knew, however, that Zelda wanted to know how exactly she intended to defeat Satan, and she recognized that saying yes with her hands tied meant that the witch, indeed, trusted her. 

But she wasn’t willing to share her scheme just yet.

“I want you to know that I trust you too, High Priestess, or else I wouldn’t have come to you. 

And I will let you know of my plan inside out when the time comes. For now, you just need to… Hold on, tight.” She placed her hand on top of Zelda’s, pressing it against the table as she spoke. For emphasis. 

With her other hand, she raised her wine glass, waiting for Zelda to do the same. 

The witch locked her green eyes with the pair of aquamarine gemstones that looked at her, and said “here’s to trust.”

“And female supremacy. 

And to us finally spending some quality time together”, added the demoness, winking. 

Something in her voice suggested that even though there was a main course, Zelda herself could be the dessert if she wanted.

It was out of the ordinary, to be there with Lilith, the witch thought; but not in an uncomfortable way, more in an adventurous, rule-breaking kind of way. 

And though part of Zelda wanted that moment to last for a few hours, she was quite hungry.

“What are we eating next?” she asked, pouring wine to both of them. 

And this time, Lilith ignored the impulse to laugh at the apparently innocent question, waving her right hand in a short but clearly effective move, for their appetizers gave way to mouth-watering steaks with fresh-looking salads on the side. 

Zelda hummed in approval, actually stunned at the sight of her favorite dish.

“How did you know I love bistecca alla fiorentina?” 

The way she pronounced it, with perfect Italian accent, made Lilith’s thoughts go wild. She smiled, a different kind of hunger reflected in her ocean eyes: “I didn’t, but only fools dislike Tuscan cuisine.” 

The food was delicious, and Zelda was quite curious to know where Lilith had stolen it from - for she was certain the demoness couldn’t cook. But this was a question for another time, she was too busy feasting to speak. 

Lilith was loud with her cutlery, and for a moment that was what filled the silence, together with the soft background music. 

Comfortable silence was one of Zelda’s favorite things in life, and she smiled at Lilith, gratitude for that little corner of paradise in such an unexpected place. 

They drank whiskey after finishing the wine and the food, clearly breaking from the traditional Italian way, but not minding in the least. 

Lilith’s stilettos had briskly brushed Zelda’s legs three times now, and the demoness rose from her little chair, leading the way to the leather couch. 

Normally Zelda would be the one leading, but she followed the other woman all the same, noticing how intoxicating her perfume was, and how her long hair framed her features, how her body danced when she took firm steps, making the room even smaller with her queen-sized manners. 

“What a depressing place hell must be now, after losing you as a ruler”, Zelda said.

She didn’t plan on saying it, but it came out inevitably, and she didn’t regret it - because she meant it. Women were much better rulers, and she knew Lilith was no exception. It was actually frustrating that she only got to be queen for a few days.

“Fret not, High Priestess, for soon they will have no other choice but to accept me as the only Queen of Hell.”

“The way you say my title, it sounds quite... Unique, I must say” the witch stated, settling next to Lilith on the expensive couch.

The demoness wasted no time, promptly turning and closing the distance between them, tucking a rebel curl behind Zelda’s ear and smirking: “feeling flattered, are we?”.

She moved even closer, leaning in to whisper in the same ear their fingers had just brushed:

“As you should, High Priestess”. The way her voice dropped an octave immediately made Zelda forget everything they had been through, and the witch moved her head slightly so her mouth would finally meet Lilith’s. 

There was no fireplace in the office, but at that moment, Zelda could vouch for the presence of one: she felt heat burning her skin, and heard fire cracking in her ears while her tongue danced to meet Lilith’s here, there, and everywhere; once, twice, three times, each kiss just as tenacious and territorial as the first, only pausing because they both needed to breathe.

Kissing Lilith was unlike anything Zelda had experienced before, and she had kissed plenty of warlocks and witches, and even a few demons, in her 427 years of life. 

If only she didn’t need air, she could stay like that for ages, only leaving Lilith’s mouth to explore the unknown territory of her gorgeous body. 

The demoness, as though reading Zelda’s mind, moved her hand from the witch’s leg and placed it on her waist, meaning to pull her closer, but accidentally pressing the wound from the bullet her look-alike had fired over a month ago.

Zelda froze, feeling not only a sting of physical pain, but a rush of memories that came flooding back as though Lilith had pushed a switch-on button. 

She mentally cursed her body for interrupting a make-out session with the Queen of Hell, and then proceeded to curse herself, for what in Hecate’s name was she doing? Had she lost her mind? 

That was Lilith, the woman she used to pray to. 

The Mother of Demons.

Eagerly kissing her one, two, three times. 

Touching her leg, pulling her hair, whispering in her ear. 

It felt great. 

She couldn’t think clearly, and this wasn’t like her at all.

“I have to go, Sabrina will be home soon and she’ll start to worry if I’m not there.”

A flustered Zelda Spellman mumbling a pathetic excuse, how had she gotten to this point? 

She needed some air, though; real, night air, running through her lungs. And a cigarette. 

She got up, involuntarily touching her wound.

“Have I hurt you, darling Zelda?” Lilith asked, worry completely evident in her tone.

Now she thinks I’m weak, marvelous-- Zelda was beating herself up at speed of light now. 

“This is where that bitch shot me, but I’m fine. I just really have to go, it’s been hours.” 

“I will teleport us back, then-

“I’ll walk.” She replied embarrassingly quickly.

Lilith’s “oh” was a mix of surprise and amusement, but to be fair, this date night had gone way better than she had expected. So she smiled a genuine smile, and wished Zelda a goodnight, opening the office door for her. 

After two steps in the long corridor, Zelda turned on her heels, moving back towards Lilith:

“Don’t forget your monthly tea, we have a coup d'état to carry out”, she opened her palm and a small glass bottle appeared. 

She gave it to Lilith, kissing her one more time, regaining certain control of her thoughts and actions. And then she marched away, feeling Lilith’s eyes on her for a brief moment until the demoness disappeared, and she was opening a high school main door, cool night air blowing on her face, heat still all over her body.

**Author's Note:**

> spare comment ma'am?   
> (seriously, though, if you leave a comment it'll make my day/week/month <3)


End file.
